Who is Bane? Kevin has convinced me to write a short little bit about myself and I have decided to do so in the only way that's really cool..

In third person.

The Bane doesn't like to write about himself, unless hes trying to be funny. This is because The Bane is above such things as bio's and such. The Bane is all. The Bane is mighty and stuff. Ph34r The Bane. The Bane's feet hurt. Rub them... Ahhhh The Bane likes it like that.

For those of you who came from queerfilter via tubedoggs magic fairy dust, The Bane hates to disappoint you but The Bane is not gay.

The Bane has been messing with this Internet stuff since the early 90's. The Bane had just ordered a set of 4 computers to network together to play a new game called DOOM in the arcade that The Bane owned in the wee town of Gonzales, LA. The Bane uses the term Arcade sparingly as there were really very few actual arcade games there, and they were miserably old at that point. The only real selling point was that we had RPG's on the weekends and eventually Magic: The Gathering.

The Bane had already been running a BBS called Wraith's Place at this point. And would spend insane amounts of time online (online at that point involved calling someone elses house with your modem and connecting to theirs) playing awesome BBS doors such as Legend of the Red Dragon, Planets, and Lunatix. So when The Bane found the Internet and all its possibilities (like fewer busy signals and WAAAAAAAAAY more people) The Bane was instantly in love.

The Bane had his first homepage up soon after, and it was a more garish affair than even his current efforts, but alas it was there. And so was The Bane, every day.

Life progressed from there and we arrive at today. No longer is The Bane mild mannered pron nerd Scottie Smith, now he is.. The Bane.

The Bane has a long list of awards and credits to his name that The Bane can make up. But for the moment The Bane will share a few of the real things he has done. The Bane wrote a wee little script called vbStats, it was a little thing that started from me wondering what browser his users at TalkLoud used and exploded into something that ended up being on every stinking vBulletin board The Bane ran across. The Bane also did a wee bit of web design, from pr0n sites to his own sites and a few in between.

The Bane has been involved with computers for running on 18 years at this point, and The Bane is an expert in PHP, MySQL, HTML, XML, RSS, Perl, Python, C, VB, and spouting bullshit that anyone could recognize was untrue with very little effort.

The Bane is a democrat. The Bane thinks GW Bush is half the man his father was, and The Bane thought his father was an embarrassment to the office. Following in the whole Political thread The Bane thought Clinton was Christ returned and will be first in line to welcome his wife to the oval office when she decides to run.

Games? Oh lord does The Bane dig games. RPG and Simulations are probably The Bane's favorite, but The Bane dabbles in just about everything. His favorite title of all time? Romance of the Three Kingdoms (any). His least favorite? ET, The Extra Terrestrial. That one is kinda obvious though.

That's enough about me. Now I'll throw in a quick little something in the last paragraph so you can pretend you read the whole thing. Ready? Arcade Good, ET Bad, Lots of time on the computer, funny part about the bullshit, Clinton Good, Bush Bad. BTW, You thought this was really funny.

Thou may contact The Bane here.

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